Did you know that a flea can jump eight to ten inches high and more than a foot horizontally? That’s more than 350 times its body length. In human terms, it’s like someone jumping the length of a football field! However, it is not difficult to impair the jumping ability of a flea.
In an experiment that has been continually replicated, when fleas are put in a jar with a lid, they try repeatedly to jump out of the jar and of course, meet the resistance of the lid. Within a short time they display a very interesting phenomenon: they quickly learn to only jump as high as the cover had been during the night! In effect, they learn to operate within their perceived limitations. Most notably, they do not recover from this change in perception.
Likewise, humans can fall prey to the same perceived limitations. When we stumble and fall short of our goals, it can be easy for us to focus on our personal shortcomings and convince ourselves of our powerlessness. This can be a slippery slope where we beat ourselves up and invite potential self-sabotage.
Consider Mark, who is trying to make healthy dietary changes. In front of the TV one evening, he gives in to a craving for ice cream and doesn’t stop until he’s eaten far more than he should. Overwhelmed with a sense of failure and convinced he is powerless to make consistent and lasting progress, he may be tempted to totally discard his dietary goals. Rather than accepting his miscue and recommitting to his goals, Mark uses the experience as evidence that he can’t succeed. Over time his self-sabotage results in weight gain and the negative cycle continues.
It doesn’t have to be this way. Falling down is not a problem as long as we get back up. Fortunately, we can choose to pick ourselves up off the floor and walk again. Each time this happens, we strengthen a neural pathway in the brain that says “I can.” We get stronger when we learn from a mistake and refuse to be defeated by it. Rather than indulging in the fear that would disempower us, we become more trustful of our ability to weather life’s challenges.
We are all on an evolutionary journey, both individually and collectively. It’s a journey of discovery where we learn what works most often by finding out what doesn’t. To grow and evolve requires making mistakes. It can be very tempting for the wiser person we are now to look back with self-condescension and judgment about choices we have previously made. However, it’s important to remember that most of the time, we were doing our best at that stage of our evolution. We didn’t know what was needed to make a better decision at the time, and for that, we need to forgive ourselves.
Getting back up is one of the most positive gifts we can ever give ourselves or another person. By accepting our imperfection and moving forward with more wisdom than we had before our stumble, we are functioning at our best. Mistakes made are seldom tragic, but a fear of making mistakes can result in a life that is.